i am doing an internship with gametapes.com, a company that focuses on high school and college sports. how did i get into this? i'm a video guy.
also, the boss is very encouraging and is okay with lending me equipment for other projects. i might post some of that jazz later on.
my friend Rob said to me: interesting exercise. A stutter-cut effect would work well in there somewhere (kind of like what you did with the freeze and backward cuts). If you have a little more time with the equipment, you could turn that clip into a showcase for a much wider range of editing tricks. Start simple, the way you've done, then keep building more and more crazy shit. As it is, it looks like you had a good idea but couldn't quite fill all the space.
as a local seattle videographer, i am always open to criticism, positive or negative. many people i feel welcome criticism when they don't really want it but i am authentically welcome so drop me a line if you have something to say. and of course, if you have work of your own i am happy to return the favor!